Plagued By Naïvety

To be honest, probably a lot of millennials are given this attribute. But for me, it seems to be a recurring theme.

The first time I was made aware of my naivety was when I was in driving school at 17 years old. It was the last day of the program and I thought it would be appropriate to ask my instructor if he had any last minute advice for me. I wasn’t looking for life advice, I was looking for advice with driving a car, maneuvering between motorcycles, or being prepared for other people’s actions on the road. I was looking for something he thought that I could do better with driving, like parallel parking. Instead when I asked him:

“Thank you for being my instructor, I really enjoyed the class. Do you have any advice for me?”

“I think you’re a little naïve.”

It was blunt and I didn’t know how to react. I don’t think quick on my feet, I’m not good at comebacks, I try to be respectful and so I didn’t say anything. I was just kind of silently stunned. I left and took my drivers test a week later. I failed the first time, and passed the second time. I wish he would have told me, “Make sure to make tight u-turns and to double check your mirrors when you’re turning onto a new road.” Some general advice like that would have been more helpful than calling out my naivety. Because for all of my mental and situational strength that I think I have I’m still told in various ways that I’m naïve.

My brother recently told me that he thinks I act like a 16 year old when it comes to money, that I don’t take it seriously enough. Yet I look at myself and I think about what I’m experiencing today: stress over work to the point of working past midnight; planning to work as much as I can in order to get myself through school and help support my family; pay my part of the rent; not buy myself new clothes because the money could get spent on more important things. It’s embarrassing for me when people buy me stuff now. “That money could go elsewhere” is what I think. Please don’t buy me presents for my birthday. If you want to get me something, help with books. So now I’m really confused about my being because I certainly don’t think I act like a 16 year old with money. Any money I make, I give to my family first, then I think about school. I don’t spend lavishly.

But yet, people tell me I’m naïve, so I feel naïve when I don’t do something that normal 22 year olds do. For example, I don’t like going off by myself, I’m not into the party scene or drinking alcohol, I don’t have a ton of friends (or any) that I can just go and burn gasoline with on a road trip to nowhere in particular. For the most part, I’m put together and well aware of myself and surroundings. Yet I feel plagued by naivety because I’m not out doing what literally everybody else my age seems to be doing. I feel plagued by the naivety comment, and it’s stuck with me even five years later.

 

There’s Day 2 of the 30 Day Blogging Challenge! These seem a little personal, but I don’t want to feed you some crap that doesn’t really apply to anyone. So I hope you are enjoying these and see you soon!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s